I packed my bag and left. I didn’t bother to look back because it wasn’t worth it. I did what I had to do, and he did what he had been doing to me all these years. Neither one of us was right about the way we acted, yet it didn’t matter. I decided to leave him behind and see what happens regarding our marriage.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I love him so damn much it’s hurting me in ways I never imagined. Driving away from him hurt me, but I wasn’t going to turn around and go back into his arms. If he wants me and loves me as much as he swears he does, he will come for me. If not, then it know where I stand.
As I drove, my thoughts and emotions ranged so much I thought I was gonna have a break down. Luckily I made it to the hotel and booked myself a room for a week. I had managed to take Sean’s black visa, so I paid with it. I knew they’d call him to authorize but I really didn’t care, I just wanted somewhere to stay for the week.
"You’re on the 6th floor, room 214." The concierge said to me as she handed me the key.
"Thank you." I gave her a quick smile before turning on my heels and leaving towards the elevator. As I waited for the doors to open, I felt this urge to call Sean but I couldnt. It wasn’t the moment for wither of us to talk.
As soon as I got to my floor, I walked inside, kicked off my shoes, tossed my stuff to the side and undress only staying in my underwear and went straight to the bed. I wanted to sleep because it all seemed like like a horrible nightmare. But I knew it wasn’t and it bothered me.
The cold sheets was enough to relax me, but not enough to untangle my mind. It only helped me relax and go into a deep state of relaxation so I could sleep.
I woke up a few hours later with my thoughts a bit more clear. Only problem was it was around 3 In the morning when I woke up. My thoughts weren’t a mess anymore, but I still could take Sean out of my mind.
It’s funny how they say, those who hurt you the most are the ones closest to you. Nothing more tragic than getting hurt by your husband and best friend at the same time. At this point my life seems like a tragic drama. I wish it was that easy and predictable like their dramas, but it Isn’t that easy.
Shaking my head out of my thoughts, I got out of the bed and walked over to my bag and took out my phone. I began to scroll through my emails, texts and call log a D there was no trace of Sean. He hadn’t called or even texted me which struck me as odd, but it seemed to be for the best.
I got back into the bed, and kept glancing at my phone. The minutes that passed by were eternal. It seemed dumb and stupid, but as the minutes passed by, I missed him. As much as I hated him and I was angry at him, he’s my missing half. Well it seems that way since we met. He’s been all I ever wanted despite all his wrong doings.
The glimmer from my ring caught my attention. I looked at it and it brought nostalgia to me.
"Sean!" I shrieked as he smeared some frosting on my nose. His chuckle caused me to narrow my eyes at him while I wiped it off my nose.
"You’re an ass." I tossed the napkin at him. His laughter hadn’t ceased causing me to soften up a bit.
"You can never stay mad at me." He said as his hand extended out to caress me.
"Sadly no. I love you too much." I said as a small giggle escaped my lips.
"Come on. I have a surprise for you." He said as he stood up from patio chair.
"What is it?" I asked him as I stood up and met his gaze. His brown eyes showed so much light as the glimmer from the pool reflected upon them. They sparkled the same way the night shines in the desert.
"Just follow me. It’s a surprise." He said to me. We had been at a resort in Florida which had a private pool and beach at the reach of our hands.
"Okay." I smiled at him and took his hand as he began to walk. The sun was beginning to set and It casted a beautiful hue of array of colors.
We walked down to the beach following a pathway from the resort. My hand fit his perfectly as if it was meant to be. His thumb caressing my hand as we walk trying to assure me it’s gonna be fine. His actions only seemed to make me cave into him faster than expected.
The closer we got the shore, the easier it was to make out the waves kissing the shore hello and goodbye. The cool sand made it’s way to my toes the deeper the sand got.
"So is this what you wanted to show me?" I asked him when we reached the shore.
"Something like that." He said to me as he picked up a shell and wiped it off before handing it to me.
"Come on Sean. What did you want to show me?" I questioned him. He shrugged and tucked his hands into the pockets of his shorts. I rolled my eyes and looked out to the distance. You could see the boats making their way to the port, the birds flying over the horizon, and the sun getting lower and lower as the seconds passed by. The waves crashed at my ankles causing the sand to get buried deeper into my toenails.
"Nat." He called out to me. I didn’t turn, I stayed facing the horizon and fixed my hair out of my face.
"Turn around." This time I couldn’t help but smile as I did as told. My eyes instantly went to the giant letters that were carved into the sand.
"Marry me?" I read out loud as I looked over at Sean who was on one knee holding out a velvet box with a ring. My eyes watered at the sight of it. I didn’t think he’d ask me after 4 years of dating.
"Yes!" I answered excited as he stood up I jumped into him causing him to fall. His arms wrapped tightly around me as he held me close to him. Our lips crashed hungrily onto each other as tears of joy fell from my eyes.
The memories brought tears to my eyes. I always thought that forever and always, till death do us apart would be the reason why our marriage would stay together. But I guess that changes rather quick when there’s some hoe shaking her body in front of a married man. I wiped away my tears, walked over to the couch and began to watch tv. Hopefully it can take my mind of everything that’s going on.
Not being able to go back to sleep, I slipped on some sock, my running shoes, grabbed my keys and phone and went for a jog. The cool December air was enough to make me shiver but I continued to jog. Warming my body up, until I began to sweat profoundly. My lungs burning didn’t stop me. I continued until I couldn’t jog anynore, until every part of me wanted to give up.
That’s when I made my way back to the house. I showered and went into my office. If I wasn’t going to sleep I might as well check on my work. I needed a distraction yo keep me from calling Nat. As much as i miss her, we both need space. I just don’t know how much or how long it’s gonna be.
It was almost 12 in the afternoon by the time I took a look at the clock. I closed my eyes and tab my hands down my face. Almost 9 hours awake, and it felt like it was eternal seconds as they passed by. But somehow it did go fast even I began to look into my new projects.
"Na-" I caught myself from finishing calling out to her. Force of habit of calling her out when lunch time rolled around. I guess there is no need for that anymore.
I got off my chair and made my way out of my office. I quickly changed and went out to eat. As I drove, I made a conscious note ti keep an eye out in case I see her. I don’t know what I’d do, but I was just hoping to catch a glimpse of her.
"How can I help you today?" A young girl asked me as I walked up to the counter to order.
"Uhh… let me get a pastrami sandwich, extra banana peppers, mustard, a side of fries and a large Pepsi." I said to her.
"Okay that’ll be 10.76" I nodded and took out my wallet. My black visa was gone, but I still had a few twenties in my wallet.
"Here." I handed her cash and waited for my receipt along with my change. When she handed it to me, she gave my plastic cup as well so I went to fill it up with Pepsi. While I waited for my order to get called up, I sat down and looked at my phone. I unconsciously kept scrolling through my texts hoping she’d text me.
We both knew it wasn’t going to happen any time soon. It’s just not what i had in mind.